Updated: Apr 17, 2020
The fear of failure is a crippling vice that keeps many from starting and achieving their personal goals. Our past, the perception of others, the wrong advice-giving by those who mean us well but don't have our ambition and much more.
All of these in one word form a belief. A belief that either enables and dis-ables our willingness and commitment to act. I won't pretend that for everyone what I'm about to step will be easy or if applied could change your reality and experience from this moment. That's a choice only you can make.
I want to share a little on the power of self-talk
In order to be successful you have to also believe that you are capable. To tell yourself that what you want is possible. To create purpose within your own thinking.
Let's imagine now. Who is it today that you most want to be in order to do the things you need to do and achieve the results you want? Hold that picture, words or image as you read the rest of this article.
We all know that self-talk can be disempowering especially if your own commentary includes phrases like…
I wish I could….
I don’t know how…
I can’t believe that this….
Why doesn’t it….
Everyone who has achieved a level of success has faced adversity and obstacles: no support, lack of funding, poor resources, mental or physical pain, poor working conditions, strong opponents to your ideals, mental fatigue. The only way you can succeed in the face of these difficulties is to have powerful self-belief, drive, passion, focus and self-worth. Positive self-talk is one tool that is vital to making things happen.
Changing your self-talk
There are three steps you can add to your mental tool kit to changing your self-talk so it works for you rather than against you:
1. Identify. Self-talk is often so habitual that people are unaware that they are doing it at all. If you are going to change your self-talk, you need to be aware of these thoughts as they happen. Take some time to notice the things you say to yourself during your day.
2. Assess. Is it negative or positive? If it is negative, ask yourself these questions:
What evidence is there to support this thought?
What evidence is there against it?
Is this the way I would talk to a friend who was in my position?
What are the positive ways of viewing this situation?
Am I really keeping things in perspective?
Even if there is some validity to this thought, how useful is it spending your energy thinking about it?
3. Change. If you decide that your self-talk is unhelpful or wrong, replace the negative thoughts with a more positive alternative.
Changing self-talk requires some time and practice, since our ways of thinking tend to be quite ingrained. You will probably need to keep working on the three-step process above for some time before it becomes second nature.